Vulnerable

Hi again,

I am confronting with this space that I often neglect. This space where I pour out my insecurities and sorrow. Today is no different, except I am at a point where I do not know if I pull myself out from.

Grandma is currently in life support.

The family rushed back when Uncle said her heart stopped and there is not much life to her now. I pray that my Aunt (who left for South America just three days ago) will make it home in time.

I am currently in Penang. Just three nights ago I realised the last time I was here, I was with D. That means it has probably been close to two years since I stepped foot in the island.

Everything about this place is a reminder of Grandma and later on life an extension of Dad and D. Now that D and I have broken up and Grandma's life coming to an end there is no reason for me to come back here.

I do not know if I can handle losing both of them completely. I can but do I want to?