Hello.

It has been a while since I last wrote anything at all. It now takes longer and more difficult to put my thoughts into words.
After realizing I'll be spending my last two nights in this bedroom and in this place called Home there is a strange feeling of reluctance and sadness. It is the comfort of being Home where your worst habits are confined and everyday chores made easy. This time around where I'll be leaving for England, the place where you can smell freedom or so I've heard, in contrary to this place where crime rates are exorbitant, I do not feel any excitement or even looking forward towards the day where I'll leave. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't forced to go or anything.

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I am now in my dorm facing a large poster which I have gladly purchased for £7, one side hanging. How am I surviving? Well, being extremely afraid of the cold the weather needs some getting use to. The radiator in my room is currently not working so I've been waking up to cold mornings.
Classes have yet to begin so I;ve still got a little to spare and try to brush up on my Spanish and writing.
People, on the other hand, well, the only person I've been sticking with is Nathan not forgetting the countless times he helped me with my luggage and groceries (directions as well). There were the occasional Hi and Bye to others but nothing substantial.

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Can't remember when I wrote the last draft but it has been about two weeks and classes have just started this week. I'm doing fine Mom & Dad, do not worry.
I have to constantly remind myself of my priorities and the limited amount of time I have here. Lectures here are 5 times bigger so personal interaction is close to nonexistent and mixing around with the right group people plays an important role. 

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It is 2AM and its a Saturday.
I took the usual 36 back to my flat but instead of getting off at where I should I somehow decided that I would get off at the next stop instead. Weird enough, I stayed on the bus for the next hour. Just sitting, wandering with my thoughts with no worries that it was already dark and if I have gotten of at any stops at that time, I would be lost.
I thought of the things that I have failed to achieve ever since I got here.
I thought of the £12 tote which I have purchsed from Primark that is ridiculously too bulky.
I thought of the people in the bus who had children.
I thought of the things that I need to do urgently.
I thought of the people whom I have hurt.
I thought of... things.

Drowned in a perplex state the bus continued its usual route to Chilwell which I had no clue of its whereabouts. The journey didn't bother me but my thoughts did.
I was unhappy with the way I was leading with my life.