29th May

I feel lost.
No, I am lost.
There is nothing in this world that can make me feel better right now. I feel useless like a rubbish dump that no one will ever notice or care. I salute to people that have strong perseverance and self dicipline to make them strive for what they aim for. I truly do.
Many people can't do that. You know, force yourself into something you don't like just to hope that maybe that could get a little closer to your dream. But I can't.
I can but I don't have the strength to do so.
It seems like no words or motivation or quotes can uplift my spirit. My soul feels like a dead meat that is still fresh and bloody red but not edible. I've never felt this lost before. No matter who I turn to, they can't change my mind or make me turnover a new leaf. Maybe I'm a useless person that awaits for people to feed me.

How many bloody times have I make myself a promise to change?
COUNTLESS.

Yet, I still fail to make myself succeed. What is it that make me feel this way?
I don't know.
Nowadays, I don't live on society views anymore. I just do whatever I want. However, I still feel like crap. I hope I'm PMS-ing.
But I'm not.